The lonely path to healing and self-growth 💕
The lonely path to healing a self growth
One of my clients has made a very interesting point today at the Love School, and it’s like the more you heal and the more you grow, the less and less that you will have in common with your current friends, and the less you’ll be able to relate to them. So it will be impossible for you to listen to their advice, and of course, they will not follow your advice either, which will create friction and conflict between you.
Something else happens as well with your friends that is even worse, and it’s that the more you heal, the more that your friends will be triggered by you, by your own healing. The more you grow the more that your own self-growth will trigger them.
They will look at you, and all they will see in you are the parts of themselves that they have not healed yet but also the parts of themselves that they refuse to heal or the parts of you that they are not ready to see yet because it hurts too much and therefore, they will resent you for it. And because they are not healed enough to let you go, they will cling onto you, neg at you, and try to sabotage and put blocks on your pathway, talk about you behind your back in unflattering ways….
They will discourage you and tell you that you don’t have what it takes to make your dreams come true. How dare you have dreams! Because they do not even bother to have dreams of their own, how dare you have dreams.
Something else happens: your friends are still making your old mistakes and having your old limiting beliefs, so they constantly force you to look at your past instead of looking towards the future ahead. Naturally, this will make you resent them, and they will resent you for it too.
Some people don’t even want to grow and heal for this very same reason. I see in the entrepreneurial world a lot of women that do not want to grow their business, for example, so that they don’t rock the boat and become better or earn more money or be more successful than a certain loved one in their lives. Often a friend, a partner or a sibling.
Robert Green explains this better than me in the book the laws of human nature.
Think about it, in the big corporate world, when someone takes a promotion, that someone gets transferred to another department because if not, the other staff members will get triggered, and they will gang up on him/her for getting the promotion.
Never mind that these people didn’t want the promotion, weren’t interested in the slightest, and didn’t even try to get it; they will still hate you for it because you will remind them of own their own wasted potential, and this hurts too much. Will they go for the next promotion themselves? No. They will just hate you for it because it’s easier.
To keep growing, you must let go of this group of people and create your own transfer.
These people will only pull you back, weigh you down, add resistance, and manipulate you using your own fears against you
So, in the end, you will feel very alone.
It is a lonely journey.
But you really need this loneliness and time of isolation because healing and self-growth requires introspection.
You can’t give yourself the time needed to do this if you have a group of people sucking on your energy 24/7, distracting you and adding problems and making you take care of them and their needs. You need to take care of your needs first.
Something wonderful happens then, and it’s that, as you are on your way to your healing and you are on your way to Ascension, new friendships will begin to happen, and these new friendships are on the same path as you are.
There will be more aligned friendships, and there will be more true friendships because the person that you used to be, was the person wearing the mask, so you used to attract people that also were wearing the mask. These people don’t know the real you, your true self. Still, as you let go of your mask and become your authentic self, you will begin to attract friendships that are also authentic themselves. It’s in your authenticity that the magnetic phenomenon happens. It is when you start to attract the right man into your life, the right friendships, the right tribe, the right network, and these people will be at the same wavelength as you are, and they will be more aligned with who you are. These people will not injure our journey of self-growth. They will not sabotage you and will not weigh you down, but they will champion, encourage, cheer, and inspire you to continue growing.
So if you are in that time of your life where you start to realise that you can’t relate with your friends or that your friends are giving you a hard time, giving you the evil eye, giving you bad energy or negging at you, then it’s time to let go. You will see how quickly and how much easier your journey will become.
It will be lonely for a little while, but this loneliness has a purpose, and this loneliness will benefit you because the time for introspection is needed. Loneliness will be the carrier for that time of introspection as you cannot go within when you have got all this busy energy around you trying to pull you away.
Don’t go severing ties or breaking up or falling out with these people; you don’t need to do anything dramatic like that.
All you need to do is begin to put boundaries in place. Aka, start doing the rules on these people.
Stop texting them, stop calling them, stop initiating, and stop agreeing to see them.
When they call you, start to say no, start to say sorry, I’m busy, sorry I’ve already got plans. They don’t need to know that you plan to stay home, watch the love school, and journal about your feelings. They don’t need to know that your plans include decluttering your kitchen cupboards, meditating, or reading a book. They don’t need to know that your plans are doing an ho’oponopono or a meditation challenge. They don’t need to know that you got yourself a date with a bubble bath, a new pack of oracle cards and a new crystal.
I say don’t sever all ties nor burn any bridges because we are all on a journey, on our own path, and have our own timeline. Just simply put boundaries in place and then send them energetically on their merry way, with love and light, so that they can find their own path on their own timeline.
In the rules community, we discuss this a lot because when you first read the rules, you want to share them with all your friends. But, still, your friends start to put up with all this resistance, which makes friendships really hard because, as a single woman, if you can’t share about your dating life with your other single friends, then it creates a lot of frustration.
This is probably what made me become a coach, I wanted to shout the rules from the rooftops, and none of my friends wanted to hear it. I’m a person that needs other people around her to process things with, so first, I got myself a coach so she could help me process everything without judgement and then I loved it so much that I became a coach myself.
I also learned something else along the way.
You cannot help those who don’t want to be helped.
You cannot heal those who don’t want to be healed.
So all you can do is stick to your lane and mind your own business.
The universe will send you angels to help you along on your journey in the form of new friends, and those who are meant to be with you on your journey and on your timeline will be there to hold your hand along the way.
You will know they’re right for you because they will feel aligned, refreshing, supportive, energising, well-meaning and not at all judgemental, draining, or unsupportive and will add value to your life.
I want you to find your own angels and this is why I have my free Facebook community, my rules girl community and why I open my love school membership.
Join the love school here:
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Send this post to your angel so she knows how important she is to you and to say thank you 💕
