The chemistry
The chemistry
Hello beautiful 💕
This week I’ve had a couple of girls complaining that they’ve been going out with perfectly good guys that have been doing everything right but they just felt bleh after the dates, they don’t feel the chemistry, they feel bored, and they just end up nexting these guys because there has to be something better out there, right?
People forget that when you’re doing the rules you’re not going to feel a huge sexual chemistry vibe because you’re not leading with your sexual energy.
You’re not going to feel butterflies because butterflies are the result of anxiety and Mr Rules will not give you any reason to be anxious.
You’re not going to feel like in a roller coaster because this guy actually likes you and is calling when he says he’s going to call, he does what he says he’s going to do, his words match his actions, he’s not leaving you hanging, he’s not negging you nor manipulating you.
The rules will give you nice dates but to a girl who is not used to having nice dates this is boring, strange even, icky and the guy must me some sort of weirdo.
A nice loyal, reliable, generous, punctual, polite, chivalrous guy is boring. A man that is non threatening, of good nature, with a good vibe, who is not playing any games and who is not manipulating your feelings and not toying with your emotions is boring. A man who is not love bombing you or ghosting you and then reappearing again just in time for mercury retrograde (lol) you get my drift.
The proof that rulesly relationships are boring is in the media every day. When is the last time you saw a rulesly movie? Right?
There is no such a thing and the reason is because rulesly movies are boring.
There is no drama, no suspense, no disasters, no infidelities, crazy psycho guy with a dark past and a moody personality.
Can you imagine? Who would buy a ticket to that?
We have been conditioned by the media, the movies, the advertising, bad dating and relationship advice forums and magazines, and even love songs that something boom has to happen for love to ignite.
We wait for the fireworks.
But now let’s change the perspective and look at it from a different mindset.
Let’s look at it from the CUAO mindset.
A CUAO loves herself.
She loves to be in situations where she’s being looked after, taken care of, loved, admired, chased, pursued, cherished.
Aren’t you thrilled that this “boring” guy made it to date 1, date 2, date 3?
Aren’t you thrilled that he booked the date all on his own, came all the way to see you, paid for dinner, asked you out again?
Aren’t you thrilled that you didn’t have to lift a finger?
Aren’t you thrilled he spoke to you first, asked you out in 4 messages, asked you out with at least 3 days in advance?
Aren’t you thrilled that these boring guys are booking the next date straight away because they can’t wait to see you again?
One girl I heard complained, “we’re not bonding!”
Well, of course, you’re not bonding! He’s a stranger, you only have seen him a few hours in your life. Before the rules, we didn’t love ourselves and so we threw ourselves in the arms of strangers, but now that we have learned all about boundaries, how about we take the time to get to know the person on a human level? What’s the harm in that? In the meantime we rotational date, we enjoy the abundance of amazing men who are nice to us. You don’t have to become exclusive on the 3rd date until you know you just keep dating others.
Another girl said, “he just sits there!”
I’ll never forget my amazing friend who used to cry to me on the phone, he doesn’t like me, he doesn’t do anything, he’s not even trying to kiss me!!!!
It was later confirmed that he was completely shitting himself and he thought that if he kissed her that soon she would run away like a little wild animal, he had to approach with caution or he would lose her forever.
She was engaged in 5 months.
One of my clients said “I don’t feel the chemistry”
This chemistry everyone is talking about is sexual chemistry. You want to jump his bones, he wants to jump yours. This chemistry doesn’t make for a good “until death do us part “marriage. Do you remember the last time you felt sexual chemistry in a relationship? How did that turn out? I’ll tell you how it turned out for one of my recent clients. Disaster!
And I’m so happy and grateful it did for her because of course he was not her Mr Right. We made a list of the things she wanted and he simply wasn’t it. He wouldn’t have made a good husband nor a good father to her children. He wouldn’t have been a good companion for life, nor a good travel partner. He didn’t even make her laugh. She never got to know him on a human level, she was so blinded by the “chemistry”.
I’m not saying that you will not enjoy great sexual chemistry with your Mr Rules. I’m saying that it won’t happen in the middle of pudding on date 3. Sometimes, it takes time, we must be patient and enjoy the process.
He will give you enough rollercoaster moments whilst you wait for your ring and he will give you amazing butterflies when he plans surprises for you. But the best of all is like one of my girls says “ I feel like he gets me, he reads me with just a look. I feel so safe with him”.
The rules are for you to marry the man of your dreams, you should not marry a guy because he’s survived the rules or because you think that nothing better will come your way. You should be totally and utterly in love with the guy and feel attracted to him and not marry the first guy that just asks you out but with the rules, you will have to allow a bit of time for things to develop organically.
You ladies know I’m a pain in the ass with rule number 1 and love yourself and be a CUAO and blah blah blah but until you understand what being a true CUAO really entails until you really learn to love yourself, nothing else will make sense.
A girl who loves herself doesn’t sit there waiting for all hell to break loose.
She’s happy and grateful.
Hopefully, the gratefulness practice that starts on Monday will really help lots of you.
In the meantime, if you want to learn more about becoming a true CUAO and start enjoying amazing dates that will lead to happy, healthy, loving relationships get in touch because I have one spot open right now for my So CUAO package.
Love Penny 💕
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