Love Bombing

Hello beautiful 💕

I want to try to keep up a little blog to accompany my videos, in my group. I’m a little bit behind as I’ve been busy but bear with me. I’ll get the hang of it.
Members voted that they wanted to learn more about love bombing. To watch the live video you can join my Facebook group here.

What is love bombing?
Love bombing is a manipulation technique used to influence a person by manipulating their emotions.
This technique is very efficient and it has been used by gang leaders to recruit and groom members into joining their gangs, by pimps and sex traffickers and by cult leaders to coerce followers into mass suicide. Yep. Nasty stuff.

It consists of extreme flattery, overwhelming adoration, lavish attention, exaggerated tokens of affection, extravagant gifts, constant bombarding with text messages, calls, and love professions.

Today this technique is also used by men to get girls.
Usually attractive, charming guys, with great careers, and to the naked eye confident but the truth is for some reason this particular type of guy suffers from very low self-esteem. In an effort to feel validated they’ll target beautiful women to boost their own ego and love bomb them to control and manipulate them. Their goal is to sweep you off your feet as quickly as possible and lead you into a codependent relationship.

At the beginning this will feel lovely, women fall in love with their ears so this stuff works, you’ll feel super high on dopamine but the excessiveness of it will not feel right. Something will feel off. Then once he has you he will stop love bombing you and taking all the love, attention and affection from you, leaving you, confused, lonely, unloved, isolated and completely dependent on bread crumbs.

How to spot it?
This will depend on your level of awareness and your own self-esteem. So I really hope that from today you’ll be able to feel it in your gut much sooner thanks to the awareness brought to you by this blog.

How to know the difference if your guy is a love bomber or a lovesick puppy?
When you’re practising the rules and feminine energy and you’re in a complete state of allowing, your guy will fall pretty hard for you so you might not spot this on date one or two.
For us rules girls that’s not a problem because we know better than to fall for a guy and all his talk. We will fall based on his actions and that takes time and consistency from the guy.

So if you ever are in doubt, all you have to do is stick to the rules, lean back and wait to see if his words match his actions.

Below I’ve made a little table that I hope it helps you see the differences:

Lovesick puppy

Feels comfortable

Feels safe and warm

Accepts and respects your boundaries

Growing gradual attraction, love and friendship

Respects and cherishes your time and space

Romantic thoughtful gifts

Safe in your boundaries, saying no it’s not a problem

Never stops loving you

Love bomber

Feeling of anxiety

Feels unsafe and scary

Pushes too much, too fast, no boundaries

Declares his love on date one with intense adoration

Surprise appearances, no boundaries, no respect. 

Extravagant gifts

Walking on eggshells/avoiding rocking the boat

He will ghost you out of the blue. 

Basically, if it all seems too good to be true, it usually is.

So either way, if it doesn’t feel comfortable or safe then you don’t have to endure it. Simply next to him and carry on dating others.

Ross love bombing Rachel in Friends - Image from digital spy

How to prevent it?
The way to prevent falling a victim to a manipulative love bomber is surprise surprise!!!! To follow the rules for dating.

The rules are about boundaries and love bombers hate boundaries.

He’ll be sending you 30 messages a day, you’ll only send him one message a day.
He’ll be asking you for last-minute dates, we don’t do those
He’ll be wanting to see you multiple times a week, we only do once a week and only Saturdays after date 2.
He’ll be wanting to extend date zero but you got a big day tomorrow.
He’ll be wanting to touch you too soon. I don’t think so.
He’ll be trying to become the centre of your universe but a rules girl doesn’t make any guy the centre of her universe.
She will still maintain her relationships with her family, friends, coworkers.
She’ll still be pursuing her dreams and passions and practising her hobbies.
Rules girls have no problem saying no, and if love bombing is the weapon for the narcissist, boundaries are the Rules Girl’s weapon.

Another great prevention method is to work on your self-esteem. Practising the rules for dating is a great self-esteem booster.
Become a CUAO (Creature Unlike Any Other)

Practice self-love. Walk tall. Become fluid in your movements ( I watched a documentary about narcs and they pointed out that all the victims, due to low self-esteem, walked with a hunch back, dis-coordinated leg/arm movements which looked a little like a limp. Narcs look for these traits to find their victims)

If you ever suspect that you might be a victim of love bombing call someone that will work with you helping you to see the bushes from the trees or immediately book an appointment to see me and I’ll work with you to see if it’s real love bombing and if so how to remove you from the situation safely. (book here)

Have you ever been a victim of love bombing? How was your experience? Share with us in the comments below. 

Love Penny 💕