E-Tethering

Hello beautiful 💕

We have had some victims of E-Tethering in my group recently and although there is lot of information out there about it and we talk about it quite frequently, there were still some ladies that were asking me, Penny, what the hell is E-Tethering? So I thought I’ll write my version up for all my girls.

What is E-Tethering?

E-Tethering is short for Electronic Tethering.
It’s when a guy strings you along with the help of texts, emails, face times, Skype, Facebook messages, Instagram DMs, and the worst culprit, Whatsapps.

Typically you meet a guy, have a great day and the next day he starts texting you;
“thinking of you”
“good night beautiful”
“good morning gorgeous”
“How are you”

After a week or so;
“ having lunch on the patio”
“stuck in traffic, thinking of you”
“what are you up to”

After a few weeks or so;
“At my mum’s, can’t wait for you to meet her”
“In Amsterdam for the weekend, wish you were here”

If you’re an experienced Rules Girl, then you know all of the above is nothing messages. They mean nothing and are to be ignored but to a new to dating girl, specially when you’re just divorced and back into the dating scene after 20 years I wouldn’t blame you for getting excited with such messages. After all, you did have a great date, he really liked you and you really liked him. The messages are nice. Things are going great, right?

Wrong!

Let’s examine these messages above. For starters, none of them is another date request. None of them are asking you anything that leads to a date request, none of them are showing any interest, these messages are designed to string you along. This is E-Tethering. It’s a very easy scam.

Why E-Tethering?

Some men do it when they’re in between relationships
Some men do it to boost their ego
Some men do it just because they can
Some men because they’re bored
Some men because they’re too broke to take you out or not in a good place mentally
Some men just to see how much of a doormat you are
Some men do it to get easy sex
Some men, so they can date multiple women with minimum effort

The truth is it doesn’t really matter why. It matters that you see it and that you put a stop to it.

How to realise you’re being E-tethered?

Easy. When was the last time you saw your guy?
If the answer to this question is not last Saturday, the chances are, you’re being E-tethered. I mean sure, the guy might have had a Football match to go to last Saturday but has he booked you for next Saturday yet?
There you go.

How to avoid E-Tethering?

Simple. By doing the rules.
You give him 4 messages.
You space the messages so it doesn’t become a chat fest
After the 4 messages you only answer date related texts or texts leading to a date.

If you’re not doing the rules, simple awareness of it should help.

The dangers of E-Tethering

Men are very aware that women fall in love with their ears.
We just love to hear nice things. When a woman gets a nice text from a guy, her brain releases the hormone Dopamine. Dopamine affects our pleasure centre that’s why we get a rush sometimes or we might get a smile. Dopamine is addictive, your pleasure centre will say, give me more of that! And then you can’t stop.

This is why the rules don’t allow chat fests.

Another danger is some pickup artists use this to get easy last-minute sex, whilst you think you’re in a relationship, he’s filling his boots.
PUA might send this text to 50 girls, “Hi babe, I’m sitting in traffic thinking of you.”
20 women will reply
“awwwww “
From those 20, one will agree to a last-minute date that night.
This one girl will even cook, or order food…
He’ll eat, he’ll have sex and he’ll leave and carry on texting another 50 women.

Another danger is that you might have gone out with the perfect guy, gone past date 5, he likes you but he’s not sold on the idea of the relationship so he might start e-tethering you. Your dates start to get further and further apart, he always got a great excuse not to see you, family, his children, his sick dog, his grandmother died. He keeps texting you good morning and good night…… but no dates. He’s E-tethering you. Putting you on the back burner till he meets his dream girl. In the meantime, you’re living in a fantasy relationship. A relationship that only exists in your head. Your only evidence is a bunch of texts.

Another danger of E-Tethering is that it puts you on your masculine energy. Because the guy is not fulfilling the masculine role of the relationship by pursuing, asking you on dates and doing his job, some women might feel gravitated to fill in this role for him. She might start calling him, chasing him, planning the dates, paying for them, cooking, cleaning, making it really easy for him and men just love this because they get what they want with minimum effort and even if they don’t want it, they love the feeling that they could have it if they wanted it. The offer is there and that makes him feel great. Whilst you will be left suffering, confused, completely disoriented, feeling unloved, unworthy and not good enough.

E-Tethering might also lead to sexting, which we know it won’t lead to anywhere good.

Real story time. 

On my way to work I kept meeting the same guy for a few months. I noticed that he was staring at me right from the start. Since he was quite handsome I was hoping he would try to say ‘hello’ or something. After a really long time we started smiling to each other. Then we both were at a post office where he heard my name and surname. He found me on facebook the very same day.
I was really excited as he started messaging just how happy he was, how he liked me, how he couldn’t find the courage to approach me bla bla bla.
However, he never asked me out!
He kept messaging and messaging and meeting me in the morning with sweets but no date requests! It lasted for a month probably, I got all kinds of texts about his strong feelings. Luckily I was smart enough to not get emotionally attached to these texts and finally started ignoring him. In a month I got a creepy text where he asked if I would be interested in having a romantic photoshoot together lol.
I ended it just like this!
Lesson learned!!! Now if I don’t get a date request within four messages – I go radio silent!

Polly.

The trick is releasing your “controlling mindset” (your masculine energy) and leaning into your “I couldn’t care less mindset” (feminine energy)

Next time you get an e-tethering text
Ignore it.
How are you – ignore
I miss you – ignore
What are you up to gorgeous – ignore
I’m working late tonight – ignore
Sends you a selfie of himself – ignore
Sends you a pic of his coffee – Yep, you get my drift.

This “I couldn’t care less” mindset is the key to get the relationship of your dreams.

If you have had enough of e-tethering and enough fantasy relationships to last you a lifetime. If you are feeling ready to abandon your controlling masculine energy and ready to lean into your beautiful and powerful feminine energy and learn this I couldn’t care less attitude to achieve amazing results, then The Love School is for you.

Join The Love School here

Love Penny 💕